Everything seems to be in place… but something feels off.
They know the KPIs, apply agile methodologies, have taken leadership courses…
And yet, the atmosphere often feels heavy. There’s no real collaboration, motivation fades, and the team isn’t rowing in the same direction.
There’s an underlying reason that’s rarely called out with the honesty it deserves: many leaders don’t lead themselves.
They direct without listening to themselves, demand without questioning, and manage people without first doing the hardest work of all—looking inward and developing their self-leadership.
That takes courage, humility, and earns true respect.
Self-leadership is not a luxury for those who have time to “work on themselves.”
It’s a responsibility—and the true foundation of transformative leadership. Because a team doesn’t just respond to what you do, but to what you radiate.
Your level of self-awareness, emotional management, self-care, and internal coherence defines the quality of the relationships you build—and, through them, the results you achieve.
New generations are no longer satisfied with hierarchical leadership or bosses who only focus on results.
They want mentors. They seek purpose, connection, growth, and authenticity. And that authenticity begins with self-leadership.
The invisible impact of your inner state
Have you ever noticed how your emotional state shapes the team’s atmosphere? Or how a meeting can completely shift depending on whether someone walks in with anxiety or calm energy?
Dr. Mario Alonso Puig refers to “neural suicide” to describe how, in states of chronic stress and constant alert, some neurons literally shut down because they can no longer endure the internal environment. This impairs memory, disrupts sleep, worsens mood, and weakens our capacity for emotional self-regulation. As leaders, we often operate from that constant tension—unintentionally passing it on to our teams.
Self-leadership means taking responsibility for your energy, your health, your emotions, and your impact. It’s a daily practice that starts with observing yourself, questioning your patterns, and taking care of yourself.
The exercise that helps you strengthen your self-leadership
One of the most powerful practices I suggest to my executive clients is simple, yet transformative: take a sheet of paper and draw three columns—Strengths, Weaknesses, and Values (behaviors).
Then:
- Fill in each column with honesty.
- Ask 3–4 trusted people—both personal and professional—for feedback to gain perspective.
- Identify your patterns, strengths to build on, and areas to transform.
- With that information, define your personal “Start – Stop – Continue” actions.
This exercise gives you back your power, clarity, and direction. And it reconnects you with your humility—the kind that allows you to grow without guilt or toxic self-pressure. I also recommend reading this article: Basic Neuroscience Concepts to Transform Your Leadership.
The kind of leadership that inspires people to stay
Healthy leadership isn’t imposed—it’s transmitted. he leaders who earn lasting loyalty aren’t the most technically brilliant, but the most human, the most connected—those with strong self-leadership. They know how to listen to understand, regulate themselves, show gratitude, give feedback without judgment, and recognize others’ value.
Without self-leadership, team management becomes a mechanical task—disconnected from purpose.
Today, the challenge isn’t just hiring talent, but inspiring them to stay.
And for people to truly want to stay, they need an environment that feels emotionally safe, consistent, and respectful. That starts with you.
The evolution toward your best self
Developing transformative leadership means accepting that we’re always evolving.
That we never truly “arrive.” That we need to pause, look inward, ask for help—from a coach who understands teams—and build our emotional intelligence. Above all, it requires being honest with ourselves.
Self-leadership isn’t just a key competency for leaders—it’s also a shield against emotional burnout.
The good news is: when you change, everything changes. A team led by a conscious leader has more energy, more commitment, and better results. Because leadership isn’t about control—it’s about influence. And the first person you need to influence is yourself.
What will you do next with this insight?
Once you’ve done your own inner work and feel more aligned—what about the others?
What if the next step were to help your team become more aligned, cohesive, engaged, and ready to truly collaborate?
Because when you shift, the team dynamic can shift too. And if what you’re aiming for is faster results, smoother relationships, and a high-performance environment that uses individual differences as a strength—working with the entire team is the game changer.
If this resonates with you, we can explore whether my two-phase methodology could support you in taking that next step—just as it has helped other leaders and their teams.
Schedule a no-obligation clarity call and let’s talk it through.
Post written by Susana Jiménez, Founder of Aprofitalents.
